I almost didn't ask because I thought it would upset him...

I used to worry a lot that my needs would cause someone to be inconvenienced or upset with me. That I needed to always keep people happy, or not be a bother. 

Last week, this came up for me while I was getting my nails done

I wanted to change my mind about what I had already said I wanted, and for a moment, I was stopping myself because my nail tech seemed to be in a bad mood already. I didn't want to inconvenience or upset him further. 

WHAAAATTTT??? 

When I caught this, I was upset for a minute because I'VE WORKED ON THIS!!! 

Why was it showing up again? And over such a small thing?

Then I reminded myself that the goal is not to never deal with this pattern again, but rather to recognize it, and redirect once I was aware of what was happening. 

I've had to work on this because worrying about upsetting people showed up in my business over and over and again, not just in my personal life. 

It led to so much energy drain and took up headspace that was really needed elsewhere. 

And my coaching clients tell me about how it shows up for them at work too. 

It happens when they find themselves not speaking up about what they think because it might irritate a co-worker. 

Or they don't ask for the help they need because they feel they shouldn't need it at this point and they fear everyone will be slowed down and inconvenienced. Or think badly of them.

It creates a vicious cycle of drain and resentment. 

And that's not how we want to live right?

I talked about this in a short video. You can give it a listen here.

Check it out if you can relate to putting others needs above your own often, or you worry about what people will think.