I sure hope you’re not shoulding yourself!

I’ve been thinking a lot about how sometimes our work can really light us up and it feels like we are doing something important with our lives, and other times, our work can cause SO MUCH STRESS!!

It made me think of a time where I felt overwhelmed and stressed out at a time where it seemed like I “should” feel proud and accomplished.

As you may know, I’m also a professional dancer and for the last 7 years or so, I was dancing with a local modern dance company. I loved dancing again, after having “retired” as I started up my massage practice, And I got to travel to some really cool places to perform (India, South Africa!)

But a few years in, the director of the company asked me for some help with running rehearsals. I accepted, as it didn’t seem like much more responsibility than I already had as a dancer.

I ended up being named the Associate Rehearsal Director, and later the Associate Artistic Director because of how many things I eventually became responsible for.

It was my job to teach and refine choreography, and to plan and execute all aspects of our rehearsals to prepare us for the stage.

Needless to say, it was a LOT, on top of wearing ALL of the hats in my own massage business.

On the surface this looked like things I “should” be proud of. Instead, I felt drained by having to fulfill what felt like someone else’s responsibilities. Was I good at it? Yes. Did I enjoy many aspects of it? Of course.

But overall it just made me feel exhausted and left me with no energy to focus on the growth that was most important to ME at the time, which was to expand my offerings to my clients.

I was stressed out because MY value of growth wasn’t being honored.

While this role was certainly stretching me, it wasn’t the kind of growth that I wanted at the time. It was what someone else wanted me to do.

I felt like I was failing all the time because I was juggling so many things, while never getting around to focusing on the things I REALLY wanted to do in my business.

I constantly felt like I didn’t have enough time, and whatever I was doing, it felt like I should be doing something else. Resentment started to build because something I used to enjoy now felt like a burden, and at the same time I thought that I should be able to handle it all. “Just manage your time better!” was something I was telling myself on repeat. It caused me so much stress.

Can you relate? Have you stayed in a situation that wasn’t aligned with your true values because it seemed like you “should” be able to handle it? Or that you “should” want it?

Did it feel like a giant struggle? How did that feel in your body? Perhaps like tense shoulders, headaches, fatigue?

This could look like taking a job that looks good on paper but does not light you up. Or clinging to the security of being an employee even though you’d love to have the freedom of working for yourself.

My situation felt hard because I wasn’t letting my values dictate how much work I took on. Once I realized this, I was able to put some boundaries in place and ask for the help I needed to allow the space for my values to come forward.

When you bring your values into your everyday life, things feel easier. More in the flow, and more excitement in your work and life.

I love exploring this with my clients because honing in on your true values and learning how to honor them can make a HUGE shift towards rediscovering lightness, joy and ease in your life. Ahhhhh that sounds good doesn’t it?

If that does sound good to you, let’s chat. You can schedule a free call with me here or just reply to this email to get a conversation going and stop shoulding yourself!