Can You Relate?

It’s funny how the things we heard growing up can really stick with us.

Maybe you were told that it’s always better to give than to receive.

Or that in order to be a good person, you should always be “nice” and “helpful” to others, no matter what. Even if the person you are helping and being nice to isn’t always helpful or nice to you!

We hear that parents are supposed to give everything to their kids (their time, money and energy), and that the best kind of people are the ones who work constantly for others, while not ever complaining about how exhausted they are.

And then we also hear what sounds like conflicting directions…

You have to take care of yourself first, before you can take care of others.

You must make time to fill your own cup, since you can’t give from an empty cup.

Put your mask on first, before helping those around you.

With all of this conflicting information, it’s no wonder that the act of setting boundaries or speaking up for your needs can sometimes feel hard.

Especially if you happen to be an empathetic human being who does TRULY care about being there for people.

If someone is wanting your help, and you were told that you have to be helpful all the time, or else you aren’t a good person, it’s going to feel really difficult to say no, EVEN IF you don’t have the time or space for it right now.

Maybe this is showing up as not asking your boss for the break you need because you don’t want it to seem like you are complaining or that you can’t handle your job. Plus, you know how hard it will be for everyone else if you aren’t doing your part.

Or perhaps you know that you need a quiet space in order to focus, but it seems too mean or rude to say “please leave me alone so I can get my work done”, so you just keep sucking it up and doing your work later, even though it makes you so angry and stressed!

So how do you speak your needs without feeling like you are mean, cold hearted, selfish, weak, rude, not nice, (you name the negative adjective of choice here)?

In my Breath and Boundaries program, you will learn how to speak your needs from a place of connection with your core values, and do so in a way that is so loving to the other person.

We’ll take a look at how you want to feel as you show up for yourself and others, as well as the beliefs that are currently stopping you from doing so.