I’ve been there…and it wasn’t fun

Back in massage school we were taught a lot about the boundaries we would need to have in place if we wanted to have a successful career. This was to protect us as the massage therapist, but also to protect our clients. We discussed things like:

Don’t work with clients who make you feel uncomfortable. Don’t have romantic relationships with your clients. End your sessions on time, even if the client arrived late. Don’t talk about your own problems through your client’s whole session. Leave your “stuff” at the door! Don’t assume that you know what is best for the client-always respect their choices around the bodywork they wish to receive. Don’t push past your physical limits.

These boundaries were pretty clear and easy to follow. I could see how they protected my energy and also really served the clients as well.

Others took a little more practice. Especially once I had my own business and was responsible for doing all my own scheduling.There was no manager or receptionist to hide behind. I struggled a lot in the early years of my practice!

I felt so guilty and ungrateful every time I had to turn someone away or say I couldn’t see them at their preferred time.

I knew I should have boundaries like “have clearly defined hours and don’t schedule clients outside of those times” But that was really difficult to keep sometimes!

I soon found myself with loads of clients who wanted to come in regularly and my schedule was already pushing my limits.

If a client needed to reschedule, and I was booked solid for 2 months out, it felt like I HAD to bend my boundaries and get them in sooner or else they would just go somewhere else. I loved working with my clients, and they wanted to support MY business, so surely I just had to make it work, right?

So I would look at my schedule and think, do I want to come in on Sunday and not have a day off at all, or would I rather just stay extra late one night this week? Because those were the only free times I had.

As you can imagine, I started to feel resentful of this constant overstuffing and shuffling of my schedule because I was exhausted and I had no life outside of work. And sometimes people were asking to reschedule for things that were not even unavoidable situations! They were allowing other things to get in the way of their precious massage time, and I was making it so easy for them to give up their time by sacrificing my own needs in order to not make them wait months on end to get back in.

I had started my own business because I value freedom, and I wasn’t giving myself any freedom in my schedule at all! The burnout I was feeling was starting to affect how I was able to serve my clients.

So, I started to block off a few time slots in my schedule to allow for such things as rescheduling within my business hours. I didn’t take the absolute maximum number of clients each day, so I had some flexibility if I WANTED to take a last minute client. This way, my schedule had a little breathing room, and I didn’t get stressed out every time a client was booking their appointment.

I also started politely explaining to people that my schedule books up about 2 months in advance. And that yes, they could reschedule, but it might be awhile before I could get them back in.

I could still be compassionate towards my clients needs, but I didn’t make it MY responsibility to be sure they could get an appointment time.

What happened next was really eye opening….

I felt much less anxiety around the scheduling process. The clients who couldn’t prioritize keeping their appointments fell away, and the ones who started realizing that they needed to guard that time for themselves and plan ahead, started getting much better results from our sessions.

By consistently sticking to my boundaries (even when it felt uncomfortable) I was actually able to do better work AND my clients learned how to uplevel their commitment to their self care.

It was a win for everyone involved.

In my new program, Breath & Boundaries, we’ll look at where your energy is getting drained or resentment is building, and we’ll come up with a personalized action plan so that you can start putting some necessary boundaries in place without feeling mean, guilty, or any sort of icky.

Because I’ve been there, I know how crucially important it is to look at this if you want to reduce stress and truly enjoy your life.