Controversial? Yes. Helpful? Also yes.

Hi Helen Marie,

If people aren’t respecting your boundaries, here’s something that can help.

Now, I hate to have to tell you this but…

It’s not enough to share your boundaries one time. Or even 10 times.

We cannot expect other people to always remember and adhere to our boundaries all the time.

It’s not their job to do so.

It’s our job to speak up for our needs when necessary.

I know this sucks and I wish it were different. It would be so nice to just say it once and never have to think of it again.

Why does it suck? Because if you struggle with boundaries, it will throw you into an internal battle.

“Can I really say this?”

“Do I have permission to want this boundary?”

“Shouldn’t I be able to just suck it up and deal with this? Other people seem to be able to…”

“Ugh I feel like I’m being selfish/lazy/irresponsible and I’m pretty sure they think so too.”

It causes us to re-justify this desired boundary to ourselves over and over. It makes us question whether or not we are really worthy of having this boundary in the first place.

And that makes us feel irritated when we are faced with needing to say it AGAIN.

But that’s an “us” problem, not a “them” problem.

The sooner you can start to do the inner work to accept your own responsibility in this, the sooner it will get easier.

I’d love to help you do this. I promise it does get easier!

Let's talk about how this is showing up for you in your life, and how we could work together to solve this problem for you.